Instances of petty theft in Chichesterton-Upon-Hogmill have been remarked upon by our readers for a second fortnight.
Be so kind as to report to the Constabulary the presence of any persons of dubious aspect, howsoever benign-seeming, whom you may spy lurking about in public spaces.
Make no mistake: A “mother” dandling her infant may disguise a larcenous proclivity endemic, be it said in passing, to the inferior classes. Monitor your servants for unaccustomed bedizenment betokening an unearned windfall. The fair wages you pay do not support frippery.
Vigilance, Eminent Citizens! It’s the cross that privilege bears.
(Copyright 2018 James Mansfield Nichols. All rights reserved. )