Vassar Pembroke Confronts the Spanish Language Teacher
Vassar Pembroke busts his chops,
Spits her mind with no preamble,
Says his teaching method flops
According to her daughter Campbell.
“Campbell says she’s not inspired.
You do not motivate her much.
Your expectations make her tired.
Your lessons lack the caring touch.
“You leave her to her own devices,
Make the subject matter tough.
Naught you do or say suffices
To help her understand the stuff.
“Kindly specify the date
On which you’ll rectify her grade,
So as to promptly compensate
My daughter for the mess you’ve made.”
To which he says, “Mrs. Pembroke,
I thank you for your homily.
Your daughter knew whereof she spoke
When she said, ‘Mom is mad. You’ll see.’
“I’ll cook her grades with more ardor
To tenderize my toughish love.
Two days from now she’ll look smarter,
Your tart gosling, your plaintive dove.
“Meanwhile, more contact with the book,
Some practice, and a little thought
Will get your daughter off the hook.
Another tongue’s more learned than taught.
“And if you will just back away
She’ll also learn what school’s about.
Excuse me now from this display
And kindly usher yourself out.”
Copyright (c) 2018 James Mansfield Nichols. All rights reserved.