Sir Alistair Has Much in Common

Tagg's Island, Sir Alfred Munnings, 1919. Philip Wilson Publishers, 1978.

Tagg’s Island, Sir Alfred Munnings, 1919. Philip Wilson Publishers, 1978.

Sir Alistair Chichester is just like you in so many ways: He can quaff a pint with the next man at the Thane of Thoth; he enjoys his Marmite soldiers with an egg, his faggots with mushy peas, his bangers and mash, syllabub on weekdays, Eton mess on Sundays. Moreover, when Wadsworth dresses him Sir Alistair puts first one leg, then the other, into his trousers, just like you. Well, perhaps you don’t have a butler, but the point is made. It only so happens that Sir Alistair is a hereditary wealthy nobleman and you are common.

It likewise so happens that Sir Alistair owns the Tottenham Hotspurs, a professional football team. Though it be infra dig for the august man to rub elbows with the hobbledyhoys who throng Wadham-Threadneedle Stadium, he joins them in roaring approval for sundry maneuvers on the pitch from the luxury of his private box. “Well done, you!” Who would deny a man saddled with preferment the fugitive spasm of ebullience?

As it happens, a berobed potentate from sands of the desert has tendered to Sir Alistair an offer to purchase the Hotspurs at a price little short of breathtaking. The exact amount is irrelevant for lesser mortals — suffice it for your paltriness to say that Sir Alistair would realize a gain of some seventeen percent over his original investment.

Here the plot thickens. Whilst Sir Alistair mulls the sheikh’s gesture, the Council of Worthies has found an anonymous potential buyer who would give Sir Alistair only a thirteen-percent current profit; with, however, a promise to press the Exchequer for abatement in perpetuity from certain taxation inflicted upon rents and interest income of the struggling well-to-do. The deferred profit to Sir Alistair over 2.4 years would surpass his immediate take from the potentate.

Your assignment is as follows: Pretend you are Sir Alistair’s advisor. (Implore assistance from a social superior to lend verisimilitude to your impersonation.) It’s clear Sir Alistair profits serenely from either offer — pecuniary advantage is not at issue here. But which currency more complements the Chichester line’s preeminence: petrodollars or pounds? Also, Panama or the Caymans? Speculate as to which haven for proceeds of the transaction Sir Alistair’s accountants will prefer.

(Social Math — UK, Copyright (c) 2018 James Mansfield Nichols. All rights reserved.)

About JMN

I live in Texas and devote much of my time to easel painting on an amateur basis. I stream a lot of music, mostly jazz, throughout the day, and watch Netflix and Prime Video for entertainment. I like to read and memorize poetry.
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