Excerpts from the insert that came with a shipment of Tennessee Home Goods Bamboo Charcoal Air Purifying Bags:
We are just a small US company building a Tennessee home-style brand from right down here… We are happier than a dead pig in the sunshine [my bolding] that you chose our product… We are just regular, down-home people… We love Jesus, America, and our customers (in that order).
… We recognize that nobody’s perfect… (well, except for Aunt Edna)… If for *any* reason you are not tickled pink… we will refund your money, 100% lickety-split.
The best way to earn the trust of a customer, is to please the punch out of the previous customer… so much so, that he climbs on every stump a’tween here and home to shout about how great you are.
So if you left us a review… well we’d be all like… “a possum eatin’ a sweet-tater, kinda happy”! So thank y’ins in advance for doing that. And… in the words of the late great Minnie Pearl… Y’all come back now, ya here [sic]!
(Cc) 2019 JMN