True Believer:
— The one true god exhorts his servants to exalt the one true god.
Me:
— How is exaltation carried out? Is it a speech act? As in, “I exalt you, lord.”
True Believer:
— Could be.
Me:
— Who can know whether I speak sincerely or merely mouth the words?
True Believer:
— The one true god will know. But deeds are a prerequisite as well.
Me:
— Prerequisite of what?
True Believer:
— Of salvation.
Me:
— Salvation from what?
True Believer:
— From eternal living death.
Me:
— How did I incur this penalty?
True Believer:
— By being born.
Me:
— (Sarcastically.) I take your point. I’ve been a bastard since exiting the womb.
True Believer:
— You can’t say, “I exalt you, lord” and do nothing. Also not while committing abomination.
Me:
— Define “abomination”?
True Believer:
— It can be a lot of things. Consult your Bible or ask a priest.
Me:
— Say I commit an act of loving kindness. Does it exalt the one true god?
True Believer:
— In whose name did you commit the kindness?
Me:
— Nobody’s. The poor man was cold. I gave him my coat.
True Believer:
— You didn’t say, “I exalt you, lord,” when you gave him your coat?
Me:
— No.
True Believer:
— Is it possible you at least thought it, or felt it in your heart?
Me:
— Felt what exactly?
True Believer:
— An emotion of blessedness proceeding from an awareness that your devotion to the one true god was spurring you to act kindly toward the suffering stranger.
Me:
— (Sarcastically.) Oh that. Of course, except my devotion was to another god.
True Believer:
— That vitiates your act. Another god is not the one true god.
Me:
— So I sinned?
True Believer:
— You’re in a state of continuous sin by not exalting the one true god.
Me:
— Even if I’m continuously kind?
True Believer:
— The one true god exhorts his servants to exalt the one true god.

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