For me, a learning translation (which may lead later to an “artistic” one) starts with inserting English phraseology that tracks the Arabic as closely as possible. This creates a “trot” that mirrors the source’s structures. The goal is to understand how the Arabic text is functioning and to retain vocabulary. Repetitive chanting of the verse and its component phrases affords practice making the Arabic sounds and hearing the verse. (Where oh where are the modern rhapsodes — the Gérard Philipes — of Arabic poetry who can provide studied recitations of the classical works, actualizing their vaunted aural dimension for the student’s thirsting ear? I’ve searched for and have yet to find useful recordings.)

Here’s my transliteration:

1 ḏāda ^an muqlaẗ(ī) laḏīḏ(a)-l-manām(i) šuḡl(u)-ha ^an-hu bi-d-dumū^(i)-s-sijām(i)

Here’s the trot:

1 ḏāda [drove away] ^an muqlaẗ(ī) [from my eye] laḏīḏ(a)-l-manām(i) [the sweet of the sleep] šuḡl(u)-ha ^an-hu [its distraction from it] bi-d-dumū^(i)-s-sijām(i) [with the tears the pouring forth]

In the phrase šuḡl(u)-ha ^an-hu “its distraction from it,” gendered pronouns show that “its” refers to feminine “eye,” and “it” to masculine “sleep”: “its (my eye’s) distraction from it (sleep).”

The subject of the verb “drove away” is the noun šuḡl(u), “distraction.”

The prepositional phrase bi-d-dumū^(i)-s-sijām(i) “with the tears pouring forth” qualifies the distraction as to its motivation.

Two nouns are defined by the article: l-manām(i) “the sleep” and d-dumū^(i) “the tears.” In the phrase laḏīḏ(a)-l-manām(i) “the sweet of the sleep,” the adjective behaves as a noun, including accusative inflection as comports with its status as direct object of “drove away.”

Here’s my translation:

There drove away from my eye the sweetness of sleep its distraction from it, what with tears pouring forth.

Using the dummy subject “There” to accommodate delayed occurrence of the true subject “distraction” lets me maintain the Arabic word order. I insert a comma pause to help the reader absorb the shock of violent but licit English word order. As a translation it’s compromised and dissonant, especially when read without benefit of analysis. I’ll leave it in this state, however, since it accomplishes what I want: understanding and retention.

Here, for comparison, is Arberry’s paraphrase built on passive voice and unspooling the Arabic word order in the service of prettier English:

Sweet sleep has been barred from my eyes by their preoccupation with copious tears. (p. 62)

Source
A.J. Arberry, Arabic Poetry: A Primer for Students, Cambridge University Press, 1965. The poem is selection 10 by ^Alī ibn al-^Abbās ibn ar-Rūmī (836-896 AD)… Apparently of Byzantine descent (on which account some modern Arab critics have found Greek elements in his style), was born in Baghdad where he passed most of his life as panegyrist and lampoonist. His descriptive verse is highly appreciated. (From Arberry’s Biographical Notes)

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