For preservation of decorum in public speech, generations of writers have stood on the shoulders of people like Sir Richard Burton, 19th-century translator of the Arabian Nights. He fathered workarounds with which to buffer readers from Anglo Saxon four-letter words, coining “futter,” for instance (from French foutre), to describe the commission of penetrative carnal abomination. 

Since Burton’s time, the internet and American politics have legitimized and blessed coarse language in public discourse. A tried-and-true expedient for not giving offense to anyone, anywhere, anytime, however, remains the rhetorical device of circumlocution.

Fable

The Tyrant ordered a newly enslaved woman to **** off his **** [perform a vile act which would give him pleasure]. His command of the conquered dialect was imperfect. She figured he meant to request that she **** off his **** [an act described by a word similar to the one he had uttered — indeed, differing by a single letter]. 

If I do what he has asked, she reflected, it will not go well for him. I could perform instead the filthy service which he thinks he demanded. My life is lost anyway, though, along with my honor, so… 

The good woman carried out the Tyrant’s command to the letter. We don’t know her fate, but the Tyrant is no longer the man he was.

Moral: Invasions by Russia can have unintended consequences.

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