Tag Archives: Branded Figments

‘Your Cheatin’ Heart Will Tell on You’

… Is the best song ever written. It makes a start, goes somewhere you can follow, and has a wind-up. Hank Williams tells a story every man jack of us can relate to. This song and a few beers will … Continue reading

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The F-Word Is Spawning

When words turn flammable we call them “f-words.” They’re too hot to utter. F***. — The granddaddy of f-words. All f-words trace their ancestry to this one. It’s unsafe for print and held flammable by stare decisis until Alito. In … Continue reading

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Rabid Robed Revanchism

BROKEN NEWS: CONSTITUTION HELD CONTRARY TO CONTRACEPTION The collective of putative originalists of the Chambered Bastion holds supreme and solely licit the celebration of procreative congress in the conventional way, minus obstruction of semen, at sanctioned intervals, between gender-pairs held … Continue reading

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The F-Word Is Spawning

When words turn flammable we call them “f-words.” They’re too hot to utter. F***. — The granddaddy of f-words. All f-words trace their ancestry to this one. It’s unsafe for print and held flammable by stare decisis until Alito. In … Continue reading

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Hacer de Tripas Corazón

Facts don’t speak for themselves. They’re spoke by the folks that make ‘em up. (Marjorie Lauren Zayphod-Beeblebroxx, “When Your Gut Talks to Ya,” Podex Press, 2022) “Marjorie Lauren” is a made-up person (cap doff to Douglas Adams). Don’t take her … Continue reading

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Never Send to Know for Whom the Tale’s Told

(Continued from https://ethicaldative.com/2021/12/09/last-call-for-fomalhaut/) Did the ancient Texans practice cannibalism? The jury’s out on the matter. It’s possible they gorged on animals rather than human flesh. Data fracking in the Huntsville Shale encountered coprolites of an extinct bovine species — possibly … Continue reading

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Last Call for Fomalhaut

(Continued from https://ethicaldative.com/2021/12/02/what-we-know-about-astrids-predicament/) There was no continuing aspect to the rapture. It did not unfold — it was never folded. It simply was, was over, and that was that. Few in the Posse of Matrons had witnessed a Ministering to … Continue reading

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What We Know About Astrid’s Predicament

(Continued from https://ethicaldative.com/2021/11/25/two-kukris-in-saltire-between-two-martlets-or/) Remember that the city-state enshrined in this telling was a last-ditch outpost on the sere waste of the Wisp Isthmus. Conjecture establishes that Astrid bint Wanda harbored a vestige of erased indigene biopolymer in her gizzard. One … Continue reading

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Two Kukris in Saltire Between Two Martlets Or

(Continued from https://ethicaldative.com/2021/11/18/between-two-lions-passant-guardant-gules/) What triggered the aspersion of Texas cologne at the Lunation Gala? Siddhartha Huff’s twitch fit or Claw Hammer’s nerve storm? No matter. What was clear was that the affective threshold monitor had functioned with prim efficiency; revelers … Continue reading

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Between Two Lions Passant Guardant Gules…

(Continued from https://ethicaldative.com/2021/11/11/argent-on-a-bend-azure/) “Claw?” Siddhartha Huff ejaculated interrogatively to his unpeopled hermetic chamber. On his screen he could see Claw’s pancake cracking as if he were modeling the facial contortion he solicited from the Posse of Matrons. Claw’s first words … Continue reading

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