HJN, photo. (c) 2018 James Mansfield Nichols. All rights reserved.
I helped him poop and pee; wiped him, washed him, lotioned him, shaved him, fed him, dispensed medicines, tugged his lanky six-foot-three frame back to semi-recumbent each time it slid down his bed.
He was stoic, docile, acknowledging, laconic at eighty-eight. He said I was “meticulous.” He said he understood now where my son, his grandson, had gotten his vocation for nursing. (My son is a Navy nurse.)
I was proud that he had observed me and commented on me. In hospital, he required the covers to be tucked around his feet as only I knew how. “Let my son do it,” he would say. We bonded more in his extremity than we had in previous life. Finally he needed me.
My eulogy at his thronged memorial service concluded: “I don’t know if I was the son Harold ordered, but I’m the son he got. I acknowledge to you that I leaned on him, relied on him, put the touch on him, more frequently and for a longer period of time than I had any right to expect to do. And he allowed himself to be leaned on. He was a support that I didn’t always even know I had, that I took too often for granted, but that I never ran out of.”
(C) 2018 James Mansfield Nichols. All rights reserved.
EthicalDative 
Dilettante, heal thyself
Selfie With Tea Kettle, JMN, photo. (c) 2018 James Mansfield Nichols. All rights reserved.
I’m curious about too many things, which is why I haven’t achieved distinction in anything.
Consider this fascinating article in today’s NYTimes about perfumes: “The Difference Between Perfume, Cologne and Other Fragrances” by Tynan Sink. Here’s an overview, but read the article for key details:
(1) Pure perfume, parfum or extrait de parfum: 15-30 percent perfume oils, potent, noticeable, will last all day and leave your scent on others if you hug them.
(2) Eau de parfum (EDP): 15-20 percent perfume oils, still detectable when you undress at night, but won’t give people headaches or linger on their necks after a hug.
(3) Eau de toilette (EDT): 5-15 percent perfume oils, lighter on the skin, won’t necessarily last until the end of the evening, but can surge back to life unexpectedly on contact with moisture.
(4) Eau de cologne: 2-4 percent perfume oils, umbrella word for masculine scents in North America, cut with more alcohol, lasts only a few hours.
(5) Eau fraiche: 1-3 percent perfume oils (?), mixed mostly with water, good for quick refresher without long-lasting scent.
I was captivated in college by “Les fleurs du mal” (The Flowers of Evil). Baudelaire was the “poète des odeurs” (the poet of odors) and introduced me to the notion of synesthesia — sensory crossover.
I had a faint recollection of associating certain numbers with different colors, and wondered if it came from playing with numbered blocks as a toddler. Also, a lingering memory of intense perception of Christmas tree lights, especially blue, and of street light knifing through Venetian blinds into a darkened room.
As a very small child I ran my finger through the West Texas dust clinging to a car door and tasted it. Later, I asked my dad if it was OK that I had tasted dirt. He said it was OK as long as it was good clean dirt.
(Copyright 2018 James Mansfield Nichols. All rights reserved.)