(Continued from https://ethicaldative.com/2021/06/10/branded-figments/)

Call you Todd. Or Rand, or Blake, or Trent, or Rock, or Chip. You don’t want just to make money; you want to invent money. You swing in and out of cocktail colloquies like a metropolitan Tarzan. “Let me stop you right there” is your conversation opener.

You’re a deacon in a megachurch with valet parking. In your view the Bible is fairly representative of God’s thinking. That thinking could evolve if the Lord wanted it to, but it doesn’t. Nowhere in the Good Book does God say don’t do this, and don’t do this, and don’t do this — and I’ll tell you later what not to do next. The Almighty thought stuff all the way through, and that was that. Rock of ages.

Your palaver has a coy gaminess. You give it ungreased to adversaries; they bend over and take it. If a subordinate underperforms in your estimation, you say he should find a better use for his right hand.

As figments go, you’re giving Nick a chubby, Todd. Even your favorite number is figmentary: bezillion. If your German car has a bumper sticker that says “Insured by Smith and Wesson” and one that says “My Boss is a Jewish carpenter,” your kingdom has dang near come!

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