An old saying for something that’s drearily predictable is, “It’s as sure as dearth and Texas.”

Dearth is so prevalent, it’s easier to name things there’s not a dearth of: inequality and bad weather come to mind. Weather can be fixed, but inequality is an Act of God.

As for Texas, suffice it to say that Texas is sort of everywhere, and not in a good way. From Texarkana to Tallahassee, Austin to Martha’s Vineyard, Waco to Sturgis, Amarillo to Scottsdale, Dallas to San Jose, El Paso to Raleigh, everywhere you turn, there’s just more Texas out there messing with America.

The next time I explain old sayings to you, we’ll talk about “Monet is the root of all evil.”

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