Jekyll-and-Hydish

Some bloggers are restrained, self-deprecating, modest, understated; others write posts that are daring, obstreperous and filthily funny. I admire and enjoy both registers, and the gradations between. It’s hard to find my own voice, though, one that feels authentic. I’m … Continue reading

More Galleries | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Whoa where?

— Whoa where?
— Hurricane season is coming. Protect your liquor cabinet: Batten down the hooches!
— Plural of “burnoose”: “burnooses” or “burneese”?
— Drunk and Orderly
— Thought thoroughly through. Tough though.
— If you say baba ghanouj, I’ll yes all over you.
— Gotta be somewhere. See ya there!
— Stronger than new rope.

***
CLAIMING

When I claim to be a writer, people say, “Really? What have you published?” I only know to answer, “I’m a writer, not a publisher.”

When I claim to be a painter they say, “No kidding! What have you sold?” I only know to answer, “I’m a painter, not a salesman.”

When I claim to be a blogger, many say , “Great! How many followers?” I only know to answer, “I’m a blogger, not a leader.”

To BE something do you have to be GOOD at it? When Cervantes’s painter depicted a rooster, he had to label it “This is a rooster.” He WAS a painter, just a BAD one.
***

Signage 1 (Copyright 2018 James Mansfield Nichols. All rights reserved.)

Signage 1 (Copyright 2018 James Mansfield Nichols. All rights reserved.)

(Copyright 2018 James Mansfield Nichols. All rights reserved.)

Posted in Commentary | Tagged , | Leave a comment

The Lady Stag Boosters…

The Lady Stag Boosters were gonna bring the molded salads for the Stadium Fund money raiser; the Antlerette moms would do the casseroles. Mustang Mart would donate sweet tea.

Things looked hunky dory until Hollie Jean Burmeister told Rose Ellen Shackleford she’d bring a wienie casserole instead of a molded salad — “nobody likes salads, anyway.”

Well, that got off with Rose Ellen. She told it to Bobbi Gail, who already had three molded salads ready. Tell Bobbi Gail, you might as well blow the siren. The Boosters fell backside over tea kettle over it. Allison Tuttle said she’d just bring a loaf of bread. Harmony Schuster said she’d bring a tub of margarine for Allison’s bread. Juanita Bickford planned to be sick the night of the supper, but said Hollie Jean should eat more salads, “maybe she’d shed an inch or two from her you know where.” Fabrice Ketchum said she’d feed her molded salad to the dogs.

So we ended up casserole-heavy at the supper. Hollie Jean swears  she didn’t say what they say she said, but Fabrice told me Bobbi Gail told her Rose Ellen called not ten minutes after she heard it, which makes me believe Hollie Jean really did say what Fabrice says Bobbi Gail says Rose Ellen says she said.

The covered dish supper came out pretty good, though. We raised enough money to clean that tacky writing off the restroom walls.

(This Is Stag Country, Copyright 2018 James Mansfield Nichols. All rights reserved.)

Posted in Anthology | Tagged | Leave a comment

The System

This is the SYSTEM the FATHERS built.

These are the COURTS that rule in the SYSTEM the FATHERS built.

These are the JUDGES who bench the COURTS that rule in the SYSTEM the FATHERS built.

This is the PREZ who attacks the JUDGES who bench the COURTS that rule in the SYSTEM the FATHERS built.

This is the BASE that supports the PREZ who attacks the JUDGES who bench the COURTS that rule in the SYSTEM the FATHERS built.

This is the CONGRESS that sops the BASE that supports the PREZ who attacks the JUDGES who bench the COURTS that rule in the SYSTEM the FATHERS built.

These are the POLS who clog the CONGRESS that sops the BASE that supports the PREZ who attacks the JUDGES who bench the COURTS that rule in the SYSTEM the FATHERS built.

This is the MONEY that greases the POLS who clog the CONGRESS that sops the BASE that supports the PREZ who attacks the JUDGES who bench the COURTS that rule in the SYSTEM the FATHERS built.

This is the PRESS that covers the MONEY that greases the POLS who clog the CONGRESS that sops the BASE that supports the PREZ who attacks the JUDGES who bench the COURTS that rule in the SYSTEM the FATHERS built.

This is the DOC that protects the PRESS that covers the MONEY that greases the POLS who clog the CONGRESS that sops the BASE that supports the PREZ who attacks the JUDGES who bench the COURTS that rule in the SYSTEM the FATHERS built.

These are the VOTES that defend the DOC that protects the PRESS that covers the MONEY that greases the POLS who clog the CONGRESS that sops the BASE that supports the PREZ who attacks the JUDGES who bench the COURTS that rule in the SYSTEM the FATHERS built.

These are the CITIZENS who cast the VOTES that defend the DOC that protects the PRESS that covers the MONEY that greases the POLS who clog the CONGRESS that sops the BASE that supports the PREZ who attacks the JUDGES who bench the COURTS that rule in the SYSTEM the FATHERS built.

These are the MIDTERMS that beckon the CITIZENS who cast the VOTES that defend the DOC that protects the PRESS that covers the MONEY that greases the POLS who clog the CONGRESS that sops the BASE that supports the PREZ who attacks the JUDGES who bench the COURTS that rule in the SYSTEM the FATHERS built.

(Copyright 2018 James Mansfield Nichols. All rights reserved.)

Posted in Anthology | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Best Wishes, Rita Dove

Well, my mama didn’t raise a bean counter. I have better things to do — like trying to sit down and write a good poem, for example. (Rita Dove)

I have high hopes for the sitting-
Down part of your enterprise.
On the poem part I’m not betting.
Let’s just wait and see how it flies.

(Copyright 2018 James Mansfield Nichols. All rights reserved.)

Posted in Anthology | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Purloining from Poe

“You might have spared yourself this trouble,” said Dupin. “D***, I presume, is not altogether a fool, and, if not, must have anticipated these waylayings, as a matter of course.”

“Not altogether a fool,” said G***, “But then he’s a poet, which I take to be only one remove from a fool.”

“True,” said Dupin, after a long and thoughtful whiff from his meerschaum, “Although I have been guilty of certain doggerel myself.”
(Edgar Allan Poe, “The Purloined Letter”)

(Copyright 2018 James Mansfield Nichols. All rights reserved.)

 

Posted in Quotations | Tagged , | Leave a comment

PLOG

PLOG – Poetry Log
(Started 25 April 2011)

These are the flags: Code Mauve, Code Beige, Code Gray.

Code Mauve: I can understand the poem’s language and can make sense of what the language describes or asserts. This can produce pleasure and excitement, or not.

Code Beige: I can understand the poem’s language but cannot make sense of what it describes or asserts. Pleasure or excitement may still occur, though less likely.

Code Gray: I can’t get to first base in understanding what the poem is saying or how it’s saying it. Obscurity rules. Fleeting pleasure and excitement aren’t out of the question, but indifference may crowd them out.

Many poems seem to have a flow that involves (1) Hook; (2) Complication; (3) Resolution. Or at least some do. Or should. It means the poem starts in some way that’s comprehensible, or appears to be, spins out into darkness, then comes round to a petering out that itself seems inconclusive. Of course a petering out isn’t a climax, is it?

SPECIMENS

William Logan, “Mysteries of the Armchair”, The New Yorker (Dec. 6, 2010), p. 66.
Code: Beige

News of the world lay in the rain.
Maple leaves fell, pre-foxed,
As if stored for decades on library shelves.

I had to look up “foxed” since the only meaning I could think of, “deceived,” didn’t work. It refers to the yellowish-brown staining, as by age, of the paper of old books or prints. Maple leaves lying in the rain are compared to discolored old books. Perhaps they carry information, like books – news of the world. It’s not old information, but old-seeming, like pre-aged jeans. The leaves look old before their time. I wonder about this pre-foxing of leaves and why it matters.

The horse chestnuts had been oiled
their waxy polish glowing
like the Madonna in the Portuguese church
up the harbor. Immaculate, without sin,
by winter they burned with mildew.

Wet nuts on the ground are shiny as if oiled. A much-polished figure of the Madonna in that church by the harbor has a similar shininess to it. This comparison is easy. But suddenly the chestnuts are given the attributes of the Virgin – immaculate, without sin – and said to “burn” with mildew. Something snaps here for me. Is there something about horse chestnuts that I need to know? (I’ve never seen one.) If they are attacked by mildew does it [PLOG ends]

(Copyright 2018 James Mansfield Nichols. All rights reserved.)

Posted in Album, Commentary | Tagged , | Leave a comment

“Go ahead, make my tea”

This gallery contains 1 photo.

More Galleries | Tagged , | 1 Comment

They Spy With Their Little Eye

The exoplanet Kepler-twenty-two-B
Has temperatures designed for you and me.

(“What is an exoplanet?” you might say.
It’s one outside our system, far away.)

Pools of liquid water could exist there,
So life just might be able to subsist there.

It orbits in a habitable zone.
You could have a place there all your own!

The planet’s over twice as large as Earth,
A size that gives it quite an ample girth.

Two-hundred ninety days make up its year.
It’s six-hundred light years away from here.

And here’s the only bad news that I’ve got:
It’s surface may be rock, or maybe not.

A rocky surface is what we’d prefer.
It’s gonna be a while, though, til we’re sure.

They didn’t find this place with naked eyes.
Astronomers use Kepler, a real prize.

The sharp-eyed scope stares at a slice of cosmos
To see if any life exists besides us.

The tool revolves in space for a good view.
That’s how it sees what’s lost to me and you.

When Kepler spies a world it’s his own newbie.
That’s why this one is “Kepler-twenty-two-B.”

The telescope’s our planet-spotting friend.
But who is watching at the other end?

Reference
http://www.voanews.com/english/news/science-technology/NASA-Confirms-First-Earth-Sized-Planet-in-a-
Sun-like-Stars-Habitable-Zone-135132293.html

(Copyright 2018 James Mansfield Nichols. All rights reserved.)

Posted in Anthology | Tagged , | Leave a comment

The creepiness of the creepy

We become benumbed and resigned to it. Around 2011, it dawned on me that things I mentioned in personal emails, and the objects of my searches, would crop up in online advertisements. First I was mystified, then stupefied. My online … Continue reading

More Galleries | Tagged , , | Leave a comment