
Tagg’s Island, Sir Alfred Munnings, 1919. Philip Wilson Publishers, 1978.
Sir Alistair Chichester is just like you in so many ways: He can quaff a pint with the next man at the Thane of Thoth; he enjoys his Marmite soldiers with an egg, his faggots with mushy peas, his bangers and mash, syllabub on weekdays, Eton mess on Sundays. Moreover, when Wadsworth dresses him Sir Alistair puts first one leg, then the other, into his trousers, just like you. Well, perhaps you don’t have a butler, but the point is made. It only so happens that Sir Alistair is a hereditary wealthy nobleman and you are common.
It likewise so happens that Sir Alistair owns the Tottenham Hotspurs, a professional football team. Though it be infra dig for the august man to rub elbows with the hobbledyhoys who throng Wadham-Threadneedle Stadium, he joins them in roaring approval for sundry maneuvers on the pitch from the luxury of his private box. “Well done, you!” Who would deny a man saddled with preferment the fugitive spasm of ebullience?
As it happens, a berobed potentate from sands of the desert has tendered to Sir Alistair an offer to purchase the Hotspurs at a price little short of breathtaking. The exact amount is irrelevant for lesser mortals — suffice it for your paltriness to say that Sir Alistair would realize a gain of some seventeen percent over his original investment.
Here the plot thickens. Whilst Sir Alistair mulls the sheikh’s gesture, the Council of Worthies has found an anonymous potential buyer who would give Sir Alistair only a thirteen-percent current profit; with, however, a promise to press the Exchequer for abatement in perpetuity from certain taxation inflicted upon rents and interest income of the struggling well-to-do. The deferred profit to Sir Alistair over 2.4 years would surpass his immediate take from the potentate.
Your assignment is as follows: Pretend you are Sir Alistair’s advisor. (Implore assistance from a social superior to lend verisimilitude to your impersonation.) It’s clear Sir Alistair profits serenely from either offer — pecuniary advantage is not at issue here. But which currency more complements the Chichester line’s preeminence: petrodollars or pounds? Also, Panama or the Caymans? Speculate as to which haven for proceeds of the transaction Sir Alistair’s accountants will prefer.
(Social Math — UK, Copyright (c) 2018 James Mansfield Nichols. All rights reserved.)








Onward and Upward with the Language
Francisco Gómez de Quevedo y Santibáñez Villegas, by Juan van der Hamen, 17th century (Instituto Valencia de Don Juan)
I learned a new word today: “derp,” meaning “foolishness or stupidity.” Here’s the context:
So that’s why I’m a crypto skeptic. Could I be wrong? Of course. But if you want to argue that I’m wrong, please answer the question, what problem does cryptocurrency solve? Don’t just try to shout down the skeptics with a mixture of technobabble and libertarian derp.
[Paul Krugman, “Transaction Costs and Tethers: Why I’m a Crypto Skeptic,” NYTimes]
Irrelevant Postscript: I wanted to confirm my instinct not to capitalize “with” in my title. (I recalled learning not to capitalize prepositions.) I consulted the World Wide Wind. It passed the following:
“Short” words, those with less than five letters, are lowercase in titles, unless they are the first or last words.
And there we are. I’m taking language advice from a site that says “less than five letters” instead of “fewer than five letters.”
Copyright (c) 2018 James Mansfield Nichols. All rights reserved.