For me, a learning translation (which may lead later to an “artistic” one) starts with inserting English phraseology that tracks the Arabic as closely as possible. This creates a “trot” that mirrors the source’s structures. The goal is to understand how the Arabic text is functioning and to retain vocabulary. Repetitive chanting of the verse and its component phrases affords practice making the Arabic sounds and hearing the verse. (Where oh where are the modern rhapsodes — the Gérard Philipes — of Arabic poetry who can provide studied recitations of the classical works, actualizing their vaunted aural dimension for the student’s thirsting ear? I’ve searched for and have yet to find useful recordings.)
Here’s my transliteration:
1 ḏāda ^an muqlaẗ(ī) laḏīḏ(a)-l-manām(i) šuḡl(u)-ha ^an-hu bi-d-dumū^(i)-s-sijām(i)
Here’s the trot:
1 ḏāda [drove away] ^an muqlaẗ(ī) [from my eye] laḏīḏ(a)-l-manām(i) [the sweet of the sleep] šuḡl(u)-ha ^an-hu [its distraction from it] bi-d-dumū^(i)-s-sijām(i) [with the tears the pouring forth]
In the phrase šuḡl(u)-ha ^an-hu “its distraction from it,” gendered pronouns show that “its” refers to feminine “eye,” and “it” to masculine “sleep”: “its (my eye’s) distraction from it (sleep).”
The subject of the verb “drove away” is the noun šuḡl(u), “distraction.”
The prepositional phrase bi-d-dumū^(i)-s-sijām(i) “with the tears pouring forth” qualifies the distraction as to its motivation.
Two nouns are defined by the article: l-manām(i) “the sleep” and d-dumū^(i) “the tears.” In the phrase laḏīḏ(a)-l-manām(i) “the sweet of the sleep,” the adjective behaves as a noun, including accusative inflection as comports with its status as direct object of “drove away.”
Here’s my translation:
There drove away from my eye the sweetness of sleep its distraction from it, what with tears pouring forth.
Using the dummy subject “There” to accommodate delayed occurrence of the true subject “distraction” lets me maintain the Arabic word order. I insert a comma pause to help the reader absorb the shock of violent but licit English word order. As a translation it’s compromised and dissonant, especially when read without benefit of analysis. I’ll leave it in this state, however, since it accomplishes what I want: understanding and retention.
Here, for comparison, is Arberry’s paraphrase built on passive voice and unspooling the Arabic word order in the service of prettier English:
Sweet sleep has been barred from my eyes by their preoccupation with copious tears. (p. 62)
Source
A.J. Arberry, Arabic Poetry: A Primer for Students, Cambridge University Press, 1965. The poem is selection 10 by ^Alī ibn al-^Abbās ibn ar-Rūmī (836-896 AD)… Apparently of Byzantine descent (on which account some modern Arab critics have found Greek elements in his style), was born in Baghdad where he passed most of his life as panegyrist and lampoonist. His descriptive verse is highly appreciated. (From Arberry’s Biographical Notes)
(c) 2024 JMN — EthicalDative. All rights reserved
EthicalDative 
The Caped Grammarian
The linguist’s mind ripples with muscle beneath his unprepossessing skull. Most days, reclusive and modest, he contemplates exotic texts in his remote book-cave. Occasionally, however, an English specimen from Digital City issues a cry for help. The linguist springs into action (spilling his tea)…
In my fantasy I’m a super-editor tasked with swooping down to rescue important writing from distress. When I don my hero-togs I make the world in my head a little safer for good grammar.
All of this augurs poorly for a real constitutional crisis — where, armed with public support, some person or institution in our system openly defies the constitutional checks and balances imposed by another. The pushback, in such a case, is going to require nuance and statesmanship — nuance to make clear to the public exactly what the crisis is (and isn’t) and how it was provoked; statesmanship to provide at least some response from those of the same political ilk for why the long-term costs of such subversion of the Constitution outweighs the short-term benefits.
(Stephen I. Vladeck, “What’s Really Happening in Biden vs. Abbott vs. the Supreme Court,” New York Times, 2-1-24)
Which of the following is the subject of the verb “outweighs”?
(a) “pushback” (b) “crisis” (c) “statesmanship” (d) “ilk” (e) “subversion” (f) none of these
You got it! How would you fix the problem? It must be said, remedying the peccadillo we’ve identified does little to ease the trudge through Professor Vladeck’s clotted prose.
Stephen I. Vladeck (@steve_vladeck), a professor at the University of Texas School of Law, writes the One First weekly Supreme Court newsletter and is the author of “The Shadow Docket: How the Supreme Court Uses Stealth Rulings to Amass Power and Undermine the Republic.” [New York Times biotag]
(c) 2024 JMN — EthicalDative. All rights reserved