EthicalDative

(Continued from https://ethicaldative.com/2021/09/06/rubber-of-aspire-meets-highway-of-dream/)

His mansion sprawled in the sunny uplands; his larder bulged with premium ancillary protein; the flower of lab produce was carted daily to his kitchens; his chef staff conjured shakshukas and bibimbaps for him at the drop of a hat; his thés dansants were legendary among the Four Hundred; he stroked a mean putt on the Mar-a-Go-Golf pastures; he rubbed classy elbows at The Gentleman’s Club.

What more could Siddhartha Huff want that wasn’t proffered in spades by accident of birth? The answer was pow. Sidd craved it in the worst way. He and his Rhipidistian cronies had all the pose in the world, but they lacked pow. The terms of the co-griftership handed down by the Better Monday Agreement — the magna carta of Isthmia — were crystal: pose to the Rhips, pow to the Mamas, fifty-fifty skim divvy, nominy dominy amen.

The Montmorencys’ clench on the precedency had relieved Rhips of the burden of figurehead choice. They had capitalized on lack of purpose to play, eat, drink, bet and hang at Mar-a-Gogo. The obesity thing crept up on them. When they realized they had a problem, it dawned that the Mamasutras held all the patents on SlenderTech ™. Siddhartha Huff was the sole one of their number to perceive how this would alter the delicate balance of greed in the land.

(c) 2021 JMN — EthicalDative. All rights reserved

(Continued from https://ethicaldative.com/2021/09/03/the-shot-that-broke-the-wuhwuhwuh/)

Siddhartha Huff was dubbed official Shootist for the Shot. The Posse of Matrons’ totemic dais pose, captured with campy barbarism by the primeval “camera” at the annual ball, wreathed with an old-school aura the fashionist selfocracy sustained by ectomies of the ding-peopled organ donor substrate. Unbeknownst but to Nick and now to you, the Shootist honor brought Sidd closer to his secret goal of transitioning to a Mamasutra.

Nick assumes you’ve done a spit-take on your kombucha here. Yes, you heard right: transition to Mamasutra. This starkly linear revelation clamors for shading and modeling, Nick realizes.

As a scion of the Beni Huff, Sidd should have been solid as The Rock in his Rhipidistian identity. He was a birthrightful paragon of the overlordship. He came from a biological line of Rhips who voted rancidly with old money. His ancestor had been one of the wordsmiths of the Magnificat of Prismatic Multiplication, the sacral text of donorism and dispositive scripture of state. It will come as no surprise that Sidd held the prestigious chair of Elective History at the Heritage Foundation. Why would such a personage wish to undertake the arduous transmigration from Rhip to Mamasutra? Was doing so even possible physically, nay psychically? These are the questions that burn your tongue, hypothetical reader, mon semblable, ma soeur.

(c) 2021 JMN — EthicalDative. All rights reserved

(Continued from https://ethicaldative.com/2021/08/29/on-the-origin-of-specials-a-treatment-of-privilege/)

The WWW could have called itself something more sayable, such as GEEP (Globally Extensive Electronic Pasture), or EARPP (EArth-Ranging People Platform), or MAGA (Multi-Access Grandstand Arcade), or you make one up.

During the parlous era of the squabbles, Montmorency IV — May he romp with potentates in astral splendor — plundered a “camera” in a hostile takeover, gifted the artifact to the lineage of Saint Chuck — May he dally in glory with the cream of gopis — which donated it to the Museum of Ancient Technology. Intense study of the device enabled MAT restorers to recreate the long-lost process of two-dimensional imaging.

At the next splashy Posse Ball hosted by the Matrons in their own honor, a bureaucrat named Siddhartha Huff pointed the “camera” curiously at the Posse’s climactic dais pose. The retro 2-D image that emerged charmed the Matrons. It went viral. The WuhWuhWuh exploded with hateful banter over how to decode the bizarrely flat picture plane. The Shot became an unlikely annual ritual and a potent symbol of the Posse’s project to shellack the present with a patina of yesteryear.

(c) 2021 JMN — EthicalDative. All rights reserved

(Continued from https://ethicaldative.com/2021/08/26/the-velvetizing-of-the-manacles/)

We pause a moment to acknowledge the figmentary birthday of Wally, Lord Fuchs, a foundering father of the trifecta that groomed Isthmia. — O Isthmia of temps perdu, whose sorry plight we strive to misconstrue!

From the moment the future lord’s yacht took on water, forcing him to swim to shore, he began scribbling a new business plan on scraps of salvaged bandwidth. After his evolution from hedge fund manager fallen on end times to co-titan of a moribund hegemony, his treatise “On the Origin of Specials: A Treatment of Privilege” became the constituting mission statement of Isthmia Inc, the tiny republic.

Lord Fuchs’s conspiring journey is an object lesson in how the wealthy can recover from adversity. Vanquished portfolios can be rebuilt from asset tatters and salvaged trust funds. Still fondly known as Wally in the Mar-a-Gogo Gentleman’s Club, his pithy apothegm was often cited: “Pudding can be pulled from porridge with elbow grease and family fortune.”

(c) 2021 JMN — EthicalDative. All rights reserved

(Continued from https://ethicaldative.com/2021/08/24/to-locate-a-bullseye-look-under-the-tail/)

Market indices were plussing, stats were booming. Organ inventories were super stoked. An irrational exuberance gripped Isthmian rentier circles, prompting Montmorency XIV to proclaim an unpresidented “velvetizing of the manacles.”

The announcement lit up the west wing of the Merlot Palace. Consulting intently with itself, the precedential wall of advisors hit upon the expedient of asking XIV what to do. He suggested handing the slogan to his agency to work up an idea.

HPF Advertising, famous for its MIGA campaign, created the Adopt a Ding promotion. A meme blitzkrieg from HPF Communications lobbied patricians to visit a kindness on a juvenile ding for the duration of “thrice a score of days.”

The mansion district leapt languidly to the charge, ever keen for a distraction. Upon expiry of the relaxation it seemed as if its purpose had been served. Future organ donors basked in their brief window for selfies next to important persons. The latter corresponded with good feelings about themselves. A question hangs in the air then: Why do historians now utter “Adopt a Ding campaign” and “infamous” in the same breath?

(c) 2021 JMN — EthicalDative. All rights reserved

(Continued from https://ethicaldative.com/2021/08/22/mothers-milk-of-the-bloviation-economy-data-fracking/)

When Luz-bint-Wanda went to the sky — May she frolic in meadows of asphodel and clover — Astrid-daughter-of-Frick inherited her clout. Astrid’s grandmother twice removed was a half-sibling of Wanda’s love-child fatherlessed by the prehistoric tool pusher known as Kirk the Philanderer.

Astrid was a humdinger in her day. You’ve seen her without realizing it. She modeled for DeQuincy Fitz-Auchincloss’s iconic “Arrangement in Beige & Puce.” You’re less likely to know that hers is the coltish profile on Isthmian crypto coin excavated from fossil silicon.

Her second lifetime found Astrid in the role of leader in the Posse of Matrons. She held the powerful legislative post for what felt like eons. Astrid could pluck a tick of dissent off the body politic and squash it on social media like a duck on a dung beetle. She was also a deft evangelist for strict-construction donorism, known to bellow passages of the Magnificat naked from her penthouse balcony during her morning ablutions.

In his late precedency Montmorency XIV was asked by a journalist if Astrid was a de facto éminence grise. His reply was, “It’s far from dubious.”

(c) 2021 JMN — EthicalDative. All rights reserved

(Continued from https://ethicaldative.com/2021/08/19/5geewhiz-deceasement-tool/)

Que haya Luz. Y hubo Luz. (“Let there be Luz. And there was Luz.” (Carved over the majestic gated entrance to the Merlot Palace at Mar-a-Gogo).

The Beni Montmorency hogged the Precedency for so long it was virtually a family business. Fellow Rhipidistians colluded with the Mo’nasty because it made the dividends arrive on time. But it was the Mamasutras who tended to business and kept the lights on, which included presiding over vital data fracking.

The mother of advanced fracking was Luz-bint-Wanda, who innovated frack-tech with Actual Intelligence. AI-enrichment enabled ancient appellate-case sediments to be mined with stunning cunning. Rich biases were extracted from texts that had long stopped breathing. Hoary raw opinion buried deep in desiccated spunk was revived intact.

Luzian fracking contributed to the anthropologic blossom of bloviation that golden-aged in the waning months of the conglomerate. It also set the stage for the train wreck at Mar-a-Gogo. That event is the cloudy summit toward which the gobbets of story chucked along this switchback of narrative are trending.

(c) 2021 JMN — EthicalDative. All rights reserved